Movie Review: Instant Family (2018)

My Rating: ★★★★ of 4 stars.

---

First and foremost, this is based on a REAL EVENTS. I truly love films that are either based on peoples stories and/or events!! Especially if the topic of adoption is brought up.

I went to the movies this past week to see Instant Family, with my mother. The movie stars, Mark Wahlberg (Pete), Rose Byrne (Ellie) and Octavia Spencer (Karen) They play a couple that is seeking to become foster parents to a young child. They decide to go to a support group for foster parents seeking children. Octavia Spencer plays one of the social workers/case managers who help place individuals with children who need a home.

Foster care often becomes an adoption, which is what we see here in this film. They thought they were going to adopt a fifteen-year-old child, but end up finding out that she has TWO other younger siblings. The parents are shocked, of course, with not knowing this information until they are ready to adopt the young girl Lizzy played by, Isabela Moner (co-starred in the film, Sicario 2).

Definitions

Understanding the difference between both, foster care and adoption,is critical because that is the big topic of discussion of this film.

Foster Care- a situation in which for a period of time a child lives with and is cared for by people who are not the child's parents. This can be for a temporary time, or permanent (i.e, adoption)

Adoption- to take voluntarily (a child of other parents) as one's own child. This leads to what is called, "a forever home."

Why It Matters

It is a film about growth, change, relationships and most importantly, TRUST! Children in the foster care system and individuals who have been adopted take trust a lot more seriously than someone who wasn't in the foster care system, or who were adopted. They are often moved to house to house with different families... never really knowing where they will end up. This can lead to trauma, anxiety, depression and again, trust issues. When you do not have a stable home, the children are who suffer most.

Often foster children, as shown in the film, discuss the need of a home, a bed, a room of their own, a nice hot dinner, and the simple pleasures of family and love. Many of which we might take for granted. The holidays, birthdays and celebrations we spend with our families can often be exhausting and annoying. But foster children need that time, need those celebrations, and most importantly, NEED THAT FAMILY.

Adopting any child at any age is a serious lifelong commitment. You are taking another person into your home and life and giving something they never had. A Family. This holiday season more than ever it is important to adopt a child who needs a home. And if you are someone who is thinking about adopting a child in the future or some time soon... DO IT! It is such a beautiful selfless thing to do.

Credit link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7401588/mediaviewer/rm1130393600

The film touches on different stereotypes of parents that want the cookie cutter child. Some white, athletic, strong. Etc. You cannot and SHOULD NOT ever compare a foster child/ adopted child to one another. The movie makes a (bad) joke about comparing adopting the child to a dog. I personally, someone who is adopted can see that how one can compare it to adopting a dog... but NO, please do not use these comparisons!! This is what is called, a MICROAGGRESSION also known as, a backhanded compliment. Those kinds of phrases, terms and or saying are NOT good to use. Please be thoughtful when speaking to any foster or adopted child. Another negative outlook is often people do it for the money. Couples who take in foster children are given money the government. That is also touched on in the film.

Adopted and foster child, as I touch in my latest blog, LINK HERE, explains more about the proper languages to use when you speak to adopted child, the same goes for foster children as well. We are all damaged individuals who suffer with traumatic separation anxiety. We are very sensitive with the topic of adoption and therefore, take criticism such as, comparing us to dogs, and "Not the real child" or "she doesn't look like you, must look like the father" comments very personal.

Recommend or Not?

This movie I highly recommend to take you and your family. Not only to educate yourself, but others who may not know or understand the foster and adoption world. These major and minor story lines in this film are so accurate I found myself shaking my head and rolling my eyes. BECAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!! and sadly still happens....

There are some bad films about adoption and foster care out there, I will do a blog on that soon... one movie that stands out is THE BOSS BABY with Alec Baldwin, who plays the baby of the film. Its an animated film about a new baby that comes to a family that already has a biological child, genetically related to the mother and father. There is jealousy, anger and betrayal that happens throughout the movie. Which, yes it does happen in SOME families who deal with adoption, BUT NOT ALL. There are some reviews that adoptive individuals have reviewed about that particular film and found it to be a negative outlook on the adoption world. I personally have no interest in seeing it.

Here is an article NYTimes did on the film The Boss Baby, entitled, "Films Like 'The Boss Baby' Can Be Painful for Adoptees and Foster Kids".

So I therefore, ask YOU, the reader of my blog....I hope that you are interested in the topics of adoption and foster care. EDUCATE yourself, if you haven't done so, by going to see this wonderful film. Not only is for those who have been in the same situations, i.e., the parents, family, and friends of the adopted/foster care individual. It is a heartwarming story that I personally feel portrays the world of family so well. There are laughs and sighs throughout this film that is enjoyable for all who see it.

So please, go over to my previous blog post about Adoption language, read more here. It is extremely important for people to know what are the positive and negative languages of adoption.

Movie Description from Rotten Tomatoes : When Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) decide to start a family, they stumble into the world of foster care adoption. They hope to take in one small child but when they meet three siblings, including a rebellious 15 year old girl (Isabela Moner), they find themselves speeding from zero to three kids overnight. Now, Pete and Ellie must hilariously try to learn the ropes of instant parenthood in the hopes of becoming a family. INSTANT FAMILY is inspired by the real events from read more here...